You can have your debates, commercials, bumper stickers and rallies. There’s only one part of the campaign process that entertains me.
The election signs. They are everywhere.
Anywhere you turn, you can find a mini makeshift billboard with your favorite (or not so favorite) candidates’ name.
In Pickens County, it seems to have gotten a little out of hand.
We’ve been seeing signs for the better part of 2012, but lately I’ve noticed that our towns are being redecorated by them. Since signs can’t reproduce on their own (they can’t, right??), I’m assuming candidates are trying everything in their power to sway voters toward their name on Election Day.
On my commute home, I run across about a dozen of these signs every half a mile or so. This gave me an idea. Just by looking at the eight mile stretch between Easley’s Main Street and a short distance on Highway 183, I can tell you who will win the each race.
This is the world’s first sign election.
Let me preface this entire segment by saying, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS. This is incredibly dangerous, and it required me to stop my vehicle several times to avoid oncoming traffic.
Here’s how it works:
Each sign I saw on my way home counted for one vote. Big signs with a person’s picture on them counted for one and half votes (All signs are not created equal. If you have a picture, you get an extra half point). In the event of a runoff, the tiebreaker goes to the candidate with the most “big” signs.
On my way home (less than 10 miles from Main Street) I saw 99 signs. The votes have been tallied, and here are the results (No recounts will take place. I can’t afford to risk my life again.):
In the race for Pickens County Sheriff:
Rick Clark received 14 and a half votes. Stan Whitten received 25 and a half votes. Tim Morgan received 26 votes.
In the race for the Easley seat on the Pickens County School Board:
David Whittemore received four votes. Valerie Ramsey received three votes. Judy Edwards received two votes.
In the race for Pickens County Council:
Incumbent Jennifer Willis received one vote. Chris Bowers received four votes.
Finally, in the race for Senate:
Larry Martin received nine votes. Rex Rice received nine votes (WE HAVE A RUNOFF!).
(Drumroll please) Runoff winner: Rice.
Side note: Barack Obama received one vote. Guess we’ll be seeing for more years from the president.
As the election draws to a close and the polls open for voting next week, there’s only one thing you need to keep in mind. Are you going to let a sign decide who your next political leader will be, or are you going to do what is best for our county?
It’s up to you, not the signs.